Tatoos

Have you noticed that when you do something once, each subsequent time is easier? This holds true for things we are proud of and things we should use as learning opportunities. I have three tattoos. They are small and personal, representing pivotal times in my life. The first tattoo is a small palm tree on my left ankle. I got it when I was 18 after making the most impactful move of my life and I had no idea what I’d do next. I remember being both scared and excited every day, which may explain why that palm tree represents energy for me. The third tattoo is a small flower on my toe. I was 24, engaged, had just quit my job, and was about to embark on the journey of marriage in a new town. It was a huge turning point in my life and each time I look down at that flower I think about beginnings.

You may notice I didn’t mention the second tattoo. It doesn’t matter what or even where it is. It’s cute, but I rarely look at it. I was 22 or 23 when I got it on an outing with my sister. I remember thinking I would get it because it was important to her and, since I already had one, it didn’t seem like a big deal. It was easier the second time.

Just as things get easier the more we experience them — whether they’re things we’re proud of or things we should be learning from—we also build skills the more we do something. It becomes second nature to ride a bike, grow a garden or assemble lasagna. Leadership works this way too. We have some experiences that were very difficult in the beginning but now seem as if we’ve always done them. Maybe it’s writing a job description or managing your day. Maybe there are some things, like my second tattoo, you’ve done or still do because you did it once and over time it has become easier.

However, the mere act of doing things more easily isn’t really an accurate reflection of the leader you would like to be. For example, maybe you provided feedback in a meaningful way while you were learning how to do it effectively but now—even though it’s become second nature—that second-nature feedback may not truly provide development opportunities for your team.

Reflect for a moment on your leadership skills.

1. Take out a piece of paper or open a document on your technology of choice. 
2. Create two columns.
3. Label the first one “Deliberate Leader Skills.” 
4. Label the second column “Second Nature Leader Skills.” 
5. Referencing the bulleted list below, if needed, write your skills as they fit into each column 
6. Next, take a long look at the second column. Do these skills need a tune-up, a little adjustment?

Challenge yourself to work on and develop these skills. Read a book, work with a coach, or get additional training in an area you’re interested in bolstering.

Here are some examples of skills to check yourself on:

• Coaching
• Feedback 
• Development
• Providing effective performance evaluations 
• Motivating (yourself and inspiring it in others)
• Creating vision 
• Managing conflict
• Clear communication 
• Delegation
• Creating accountability 
• Managing up
• Modeling behavior

Leader skills require regular evaluation and development; you shouldn’t assume they’re permanent. There’s no point in carrying around a tattoo with no real meaning.