Happy Enchilada

The incomparable songwriter John Prine tells a story about a fan who keeps asking him to play “the Happy Enchilada song.” He explains that while he’s written some weird songs in his life, he sure doesn’t remember one about a happy enchilada and he asks her to tell him how it goes.

As most diehard John Prine fans know, what the woman sings is “It’s a happy enchilada and you think you’re going to drown…” to the tune of That’s the Way That the World Goes ‘Round, the lyrics of which actually are: “It’s half an inch of water and you think you’re going to drown...”

It’s a funny story, a clever song, and an excellent illustration of how we hear – or mishear – things.

The mishearing isn’t usually physical. We don’t have to have actual hearing problems to garble what someone is saying to us. It’s often a case of inattentive listening, a wandering mind, or being oversure that you already know what’s going to be said and then having to backtrack when the other person dares to say something not in your internal script.

It’s a kick with song lyrics, but not so fun when it happens in real life with personal or work relationships.

We’ve been working on a client leadership training program that has taught me a lot about communication. In particular I’m struck by the fact that 55% of messages between people are communicated through body language and facial expressions and another 38% just through tone. That means that only 7% of what we’re trying to communicate comes across through the words themselves.

No wonder we get song lyrics so very wrong sometimes. And no wonder it’s so easy to misunderstand a friend or coworker, especially when much of our communication these days is through email and blogs.

It’s a good thing to keep in mind as we plow through our email every morning and hammer out those rapid-fire responses. It might be better sometimes to let things just slow cook. Like a happy enchilada.

(Go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9DA-u2EhmA&feature=related to hear John Prine sing the song and tell the story mentioned here.)