Sometimes You Eat the Bear

And sometimes the bear eats you.

We’ve all had days when it feels as if we’re on the chewed-up end of the bear scenario. This morning was one of mine. It started out fine but rapidly went south toward bear territory when I discovered that our year-old microwave now has a non-functioning keypad. I tried all manner of logical things, none of which worked, and ended up calling customer service.

That’s when I really got chewed up and spit out.

My “customer service” representative was everything but customer- or service-oriented. Her manner was shrill and accusatory, insinuating that we must have done something downright nefarious to make the microwave stop working. She sighed disgustedly when I said that I could not remember exactly when we had bought it and gleefully described all the ways in which it would now cost me money. I hobbled away from what should have been a relatively painless encounter feeling both bloodied and bowed.

Obviously, I’m exaggerating. But not by much. This is a person whose strengths apparently are not conducive to customer service. As I drove to work, I wondered about the circumstances that led her to this particular job and about the employer who hired and, presumably, trained her.

Customers might be a little happier if this employer, and many others, explored ways to use their employees’ strengths to engage them at work. A tool such as StrengthsFinder is common in certain industries, but I had never taken the StrengthsFinder assessment until coming to EPI. At EPI, all of us have taken it and have compared notes several times. I won’t go so far as to say that “discovering” my strengths was a revelation, but it’s a positive, unique approach to personal and professional engagement. I was intrigued enough to buy StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath for everyone living with me: my husband, my 75-year-old mother, and my adult brother. They all took the assessment and we pored over the results together.

As you might expect, I’ve learned some worthwhile things about my coworkers – who works in what way, whom to approach with what challenge, and so forth. But the most fun I’ve had with StrengthsFinder has been with my family.

A variety of circumstances has led to the four of us living under one roof. We have to be careful to maintain a balance between giving one another space in a not-so-spacious house and participating in common activities to strengthen our bonds. Sometimes it’s actually fun. Sometimes, as you can imagine, it’s a situation fraught with tension. Most of the time, it’s just…the way it is.

With StrengthsFinder I’ve learned a few things that have helped me, someone who places a very high premium on time alone, live happily – mostly – with my circumstantial housemates. It’s provided me with insight into myself and them, and gives me a window onto their worldviews. I hope it’s also given me more patience with each of them and vice versa.

So maybe, just maybe, I’m not such a bear to live with anymore.